


two can keep a secret if no one's left to hear it

by pawn_vs_player



Series: DefectTale [4]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alphys Is A Good Bro, Alphys Needs Therapy, Alphys Remembers Gaster, Alphys Swearing, Alphys didn't have a good childhood, Alternate Timelines, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst and Feels, Backstory, Child Abandonment, Conditioning, Dubious Science, Epic Friendship, F/F, Femslash, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Implied/Referenced Brainwashing, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Torture, Metafiction, Mutual Pining, Nice Flowey, POV Alphys, POV Outsider, POV Second Person, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, References to Past Timelines, Repressed Memories, Sans needs so much therapy, Slight references to accidental self-harm, Unconventional Friendship, Undertale Saves and Resets, Void Dad Gaster, despite the fact that he STILL doesn't have a soul, it's alphyne what did you expect, the author is not the royal scientist give them a break man
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2016-10-20
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:08:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,128
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163058
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pawn_vs_player/pseuds/pawn_vs_player
Summary: You are fifteen when you begin your internship with Royal Scientist W.D. Gaster. You are sixteen when you meet his children. You are twenty-one when he is erased from the universe. You are twenty-two when his sons settle in Snowdin and make a home there.You are thirty when you finally realize why exactly your world is so terribly broken.You are thirty-three when you are given the chance to actually do something about it.((Or: Alphys' side of DefectTale's story, because she knows and remembers things Sans can't.))





	

**Author's Note:**

> *S P O I L E R W A R N I N G F O R T H E T R U E P L O T O F D E F E C T T A L E 
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> *We good? Great.
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> *The author informs you that due to the Core, the Void, and Gaster- as well as a few... rogue elements- Alphys remembers both Gaster and the resets, though she tends to repress the latter for the sake of her sanity.  
> *The author adds that Alphys will also be aware of some... other issues, though perhaps not always at a conscious level.  
> *The author suggests you get some kleenex.  
> *The author regrets to inform you that there is far less anime in this than Alphys deserves.
> 
> *There is some strange text near the end of the story.  
> *For convenience, here is a translation: 4 = a, 3 = e, 1 = i, ! = l, 0 = o.  
> *The author hopes you enjoy!

You are a mistake.

Your parents were too young and too rebellious, and they made a snap decision when they blended their souls. Two months before you were born, your parents separated.

When you were born, finally- too small and too loud- your mother gave you to your father and moved away. You don't know what she looks like. Dad didn't keep pictures of her. He never talked much about her, either.

He did his best- really, he did- but he couldn't handle a child by himself. He was only barely an adult anyway, and his parents cut him off when he got you.

He didn't abandon you. Really, he didn't. Everyone says that but it isn't true. He just... he just let you go. He couldn't care for you, so he gave you your things and let you out to live on your own. And you did a good job, honestly! The Dump really wasn't so bad, and there were other monsters there, too. They taught you how to live. They were kind and they never called you a mistake, even though you are.

They helped you go to school, and their encouragement is the only reason you ever entered that competition that won you the scholarship and the intern position at the Royal Labs. They cheer for you and they thank you for the little inventions you cobble together from scrap and give to them as meager tokens of your gratitude. 

You see your father in Hotland on the way from work to home sometimes. He never looks you in the eye.

He's older. He looks it. He looks tired whenever you see him. You never try to speak to him.

 

The lab is good to you. Your work is valued here and you're really helping people, lots of people. You feel smart and important and you love it.

The research team is fantastic. Sal is patient with you through your stuttering, though that might be because her sister Necsa also works here and she's selectively mute. Anfen is a sweetheart to everyone, and he brings you coffee and hot chocolate through the long nights you and he spend in the lab after most of the team has gone to sleep. Rien is stern and keeps everyone on task, but they don't yell at you when you make a mistake and they're almost parental when you get sick or collapse from exhaustion. You don't see a whole lot of Syru, since they mostly man the security station or take shifts when no one else is around, but they're nice enough when you do run across them. They help you with your trigonometry and advanced calculus when you ask. 

And then there's the Royal Scientist himself, Dr W.D. Gaster. You have no idea what he's saying for the first few weeks because he only speaks an scarce dialect of the practically extinct skeleton language- and since he and his kids are pretty much the only skeletons left, no one really bothers to learn it anymore- but Rien knows it and you learn it eventually, and then you're having a blast with Dr Gaster. He's wickedly smart and his brain moves faster than pretty much anyone, but if you can keep up with him, he brings you into this loop of ecstatic back-and-forth innovation. It's a pure rush of confidence, keeping up with and helping the Doc. You keep yourself up to date with your Wingdings and your advanced physics and magic theory just to keep his interest.

You're really an engineer, though, so most of your work is on the equipment in the lab and holding the Core together. It's tough and tiring, but rewarding. You really like this job, and eventually you even get paid for it, so it's even better. 

 

When you're sixteen, Gaster brings his sons to the Lab. He's stumbling over his explanations, so quick you can't make it all out, something about a babysitter and plans and cancellations, but you're more focused on the two small skeletons looking around Gaster's long legs in the lab doorway.

The smaller is dressed in an orange-and-pink striped sweater and oversized yellow boots. His eyes are big and starry as he looks around. He seems too young to actually understand what he's looking at, but he's interested all the same. He's babbling to Gaster in a scattered mishmash of Wingdings and the common language, waving his hands and giggling intermittently. He's adorable. You see Sal and Anfen rapidly making their way over to the little babybones, a small coo of adoration already bubbling from Anfen's lips. 

The other skeleton is quiet and blank-faced. He's smiling, but it's more like a rigor-mortis smile, like that old joke about smiling too long and getting stuck that way. His eyes are mostly dark with small white lights in the center, like Gaster's, but with far less animation. He doesn't emote at all; he simply stands behind Gaster with his hands in the pocket of his white and gray hoodie and looks silently around. You hate to think it of a child- especially your boss' child- but he's creepy.

He looks at you, and a shiver goes down your spine.

**~~_(he's kind and sweet and he takes care of his brother and he's always willing to help you and he hates being pitied but he'll put up with it if it helps papyrus and he never lets himself grieve for his father because it would get in the way of caring for papyrus and he watches anime with you and he listens to your rants about undyne's arms and why anime sequels are a terrible idea and he holds you when you cry and he gives you dating advice even though it's terrible and he works so hard for so little reward and you can always see the sadness in his eyes even when his rigor-mortis smile is in full effect and for years and years he was your best friend and he stood with you through everything and he isn't this time or now or ever but you know he was he is he will always be and something is wrong, so wrong, so very very wrong, but you can't quite figure it out because sans is a creepy skeleton who watched his father be erased with a smile on his face but he's your best friend and a forgotten hero and he's absolutely amazing and no one knows it but it's a lie but it's the truth and you can't tell the difference anymore or ever)_ ~~ **

"heya," he says. "what's the scariest kind of dinosaur?"

You blink at him. You don't answer.

He shrugs and winks at you. The empty socket sends a shudder down your spine. "a  _terror-_ dactyl."

A high-pitched giggle rips from your throat. It's funny, sort of, but more than that, it breaks the tension. He's a teenager, Alphys, honestly! He's younger than you are. 

*You check his stats quickly.

His LV is at one. He can't hurt you.

And... so is his HP? You didn't know monsters could exist with HP that low, but this kid's managing it, apparently. 

You manage to smile at him. A joke drifts across your mind from the discarded human cartoon you watched with Millie in the Dump last night. "Kn-knock knock."

His carved-out smile seems to widen slightly. "who's there?"

"I-interrupting cow!"

"interruptin-"

"MOOOOOOO!"

He looks at you for a second. You're frozen, realizing that Gaster and his other son and Rien are all staring at you too. You shrink back into your lab coat.

The skeleton child laughs, and then Rien smiles just a little, and the other babybones stamps his foot and yells "I HATE THOSE JOKES!" and Gaster tips his head to you and maybe, maybe this is okay. Maybe this is good. Maybe you haven't fucked this up.

 

*You have H O P E.

 

You work at the Royal Lab for six years. You love your job and your coworkers. It gives good pay, being an official member of the science team, and while you still live in the Dump, it's out of choice. It feels more like home than anywhere else, except maybe the lab, even though the only beds there are for emergencies and aren't all that comfy. You haven't forgotten your dump fam, but the team is a family to you too, one that understands a part of you that the fellow dump inhabitants can't comprehend.

It's good. It's all so good.

Sans begins working as intern in your fourth year there. Apparently he's only a couple years younger than you are, despite his small stature and rather immature attitude. He's good, too. His specialty is physics, but he's also really good at soul mechanics/manipulation and magic theory, presumably because of his father. He's an invaluable team member, even with the incessant puns and creepily-ever present smile and general aura of insincerity. His science and magic are both nothing to doubt, but there's just... something in the way he looks at you, at everyone, that makes you doubt him. Gaster doesn't seem to notice anything wrong with his child, but Rien has mentioned that Sans seems a little off, and when you asked Syru once what they thought of the elder skeleton boy, they'd pursed their lips and looked away and muttered something about fragility and hardness and balances of the universe. When you pushed, they refused to elaborate other than saying that Sans' HP was merely a symptom of something bigger.

The conversation left a bitter taste in your mouth.

 

A few weeks after your twenty-first birthday (there was a party in the lab; Nesca baked the best cake you've ever had and they all sang Happy Birthday to the tune of your favorite anime's theme song), Gaster has gathered everyone in the Core observation room to test the power capacity. It's been running, successfully, at 25% for the past few years- up from its initial 17%- and he wants to see if it can safely be cranked up any higher. Rien seems a little hesitant about the project, but Gaster's level of enthusiasm is one you've only ever seen from Papyrus before, so they folded pretty quickly. The Core is slowly powering up; the glow bathes you all in soft red. You can't help but be reminded of the sunsets you've seen in human videos. 

*You are filled with H O P E.

Sans stands beside you, hands in the pockets of his lab coat. His left eye flickers blue, then yellow, wisps of magic drifting from the socket. You blink at him. You've never seen that from him before.

"Y-you alright?" you ask softly. He looks at you, the ever-present smile tightening a little at the corners in his confusion.

"yeah, why?"

"Your, your eye..."

He brings his fingers up to it, letting the flickering magic move against the bones. You can't tell whether he seems surprised or not; he doesn't emote enough for that. For the umpteenth time, you wonder where he learned how to shut himself down like that, and what it's doing to him.

"huh," he says. "that... that doesn't usually happen."

You know that Sans' magic is unusually strong, but he has control over it. It's never gone rogue like this.

"Wh-what should we do?"

"Alphys?" Sal asks, turning away from the Core observation window to look at you and Sans, tucked back near the door. "What are you whispering ab-"

She sees Sans' eye. The magic flickers are growing stronger, lasting longer. It looks like blue and yellow flames are lapping at Sans' hand. His other eye is empty blackness, so you can't tell if he's looking at Sal or not.

"Sans?" Sal asks. She doesn't bother staying quiet. Others are turning around now, too. "Why is your magic doing that?"

"i... i don't know," he says slowly. You think that he'd be frowning, if he could. _Can he?_ "i... there's... can't you feel it?" 

It's sudden. He turns abruptly back to the Core and pushes toward his father. His magic laps out of his socket, reaching out toward anyone he passes like a living, thinking thing. You shudder. It looks wrong. 

"don't you feel it?" he repeats, and pulls Gaster's sleeve. "something's wrong. there's, there's too much... i can feel it. the power in the air. there's too much. shut it off."

" w h a t ? " Gaster says, blinking down at his son. " w e c a n ' t s h u t i t d o w n n o w . i t ' s w o r k i n g . "

"dad," Sans says, and you jump. You've never actually heard Sans call his father that before. "dad, c'mon. it's too risky. there's so much power... dad, we gotta shut it down before something bad happens."

Gaster presses his jaw tightly together, looking between his son, his son's eye socket, and the Core. Nesca taps his shoulder and signs  _Perhaps we should. We can try again, after all._

Gaster sighs. " w e s h a l l a l l o w i t t o r e a c h t h e f u l l p e r c e n t a g e p o i n t . t h e n w e s h a l l s t o p t h e a d a v a n c e m e n t . "

Sans looks away and comes back to you. You sidle backward a bit, closer to the door controls; you've never known Sans to be wrong about magic before. His eye flashes more erratically, blue and yellow blending and twisting and pulsing out in fingers and swirls of magic. It would be beautiful if you weren't worried about the ramifications.

Anfen slips back to join you, patting Sans' shoulder in an attempt at reassurance. "The doc knows what he's doing. I wouldn't worry."

Sans stares at the Core. The blue and yellow flames swirl in his socket. The light of the Core bathes his white bones scarlet. "i know what i'm doing, too, anfen."

Anfen opens his mouth to respond, but before he can, there's a loud creak from the Core. He rushes forward to the window with the rest of the team, leaving you and Sans by the door.

Sans shakes his head. His smile is stiff and bathed red. His eye sparks. 

The team yells instructions at each other, fiddling with the equipment. Someone hits the shielding controls. Someone else slams down the deactivation sequence. The Core shudders and creaks, red energy leaking out. Gaster's yelling too fast for you to understand.

A spear of red energy slams against the reinforced observation window. It cracks. Nesca screams: it is an unnatural, sharp, grating sound. Sparks fly from the equipment, burning her hands. Syru's coat smolders.

You grab Sans' hand. "W-w-we need to get out." You activate the door controls and drag Sans out with you. He feels heavier than he should be, and when you look at him, his eye is blazing enough to block out a good portion of his face. You drop his hand and push him down behind a lab table; it'll function as some sort of protection if he needs it.

He's a teenager, an intern. 

You aren't. Not anymore. You're part of this team, dammit, and you won't abandon them. No matter how scared you are.

Rien looks up at you, sparks flying around their face and blasts of red energy bombarding the glass behind them, as you run back in. "Alphys! Get over here and help me!"

You skid to their side, typing as fast as you can while Rien rattles off a code. Anfen twists around you to pull the emergency lever: everyone in the area will know to evacuate for a Core emergency. Nesca screeches again, but it isn't because she's been struck by sparks this time.

When you turn, you see a hole in the glass, red energy spiking through, and Nesca convulsing on the ground, making that awful dying-animal screech again and again. Her head slams into the metal floor repeatedly. There's blood at the corner of her mouth. Sal is yelling her sister's name. The noise batters your ears like a series of punches. Your head spins. When you try to take a step, you stumble and nearly fall.

Rien takes a deep breath and meets your eyes. "Get out."

"What?"

"Get out of here. Take Sans. We've all had long lives. We're more familiar with the tech. Go. I will not have children dying on my watch."

You want to protest. You're twenty-one, you aren't a child.

But, well... you suppose to monsters as old as these, you'll always be a child. Everyone except Nesca was alive during the War. Twenty-one years is a drop in the ocean to them.

You nod and force yourself to stumble out. Rien pulls up the shielding behind you, closing the observation chamber off from the rest of the lab and Underground. 

Sans peeks up from behind the table. His eyesocket flickers and sparks. It seems to be hurting him now; his smile twitches every time a stray wisp of magic touches his skull.

You grab his hand. "We n-need to go. Now."

"the others?"

You close your eyes. "They... they can t-take care of themselves. C-come on."

Sans follows you. You hear the hiss of his magic twisting like an angry snake. It sparks painfully against your shoulder when it touches you, but you keep moving. You've got to get out of the blast radius.

You almost make it.

You feel it before you hear it, a concussive blast that knocks you flat forward and rattles your ears, your vision, your brain in your head and your soul in your chest. You pull Sans in front of you as you go down, shielding him against the massive export of magic as best you can, but even as you grip his arms and blink the spots in your vision away, you see his edges flickering, the faint light of his soul winking in and out. You press your hand against his ribs, letting your own magic curl out hesitantly, trying to anchor him. His eye sparks sharply against your arm and he struggles. You close your eyes and hold on, feeling the cool slide of tears down your cheeks.

 

They are e r a s e d. You figure it out later.

You and Sans are the only two who remember that Gaster, Rien, Anfen, Sal, Nesca, and Syru ever existed. Papyrus has never had a father. Sans has always been his parent. 

You keep your career and your memories. You can't tell which one you'd rather not have, because you didn't earn this position, but you wouldn't know that if you didn't remember.

You're desperate to make your missing team proud. You're stupid because of it, risky and too eager to do experiments on people. You're an  _engineer,_ not a biologist or a magic theorist or anything else. You can't work science with people and expect good results, but you do it anyway, because you feel like you have to.

You ruin lives, and you ruin yourself.

You never deserved this job.

They would hate you, if they were still around to see you.

 

Worse, they'd be disappointed in you.

 

In between royally fucking up in your lab, you call Sans, and track Sans and Papyrus on your cameras, and tell Sans to go to Snowdin, and send Sans gold to take care of himself and Papyrus, and pull a couple strings to let Sans fake his way into four different jobs without his age being questioned. The years drag and stutter on; you can go months without seeing Sans off your monitor or speaking to him on the phone, or you might drag him into the lab to help with the Amalgamates or maybe you invite him over for anime or just to check up on him or maybe to talk about Gaster and his era of experiments. He always comes when you call. He has no reason to, but he does. It feels flattering, maybe, or reassuring. Comforting, almost, but you can't associate that word with this monster.

~~_**(you can, you absolutely can, just try and reach out and remember and know because he's there, he's there, he's not gone he's somewhere in there lost and broken and alone and you have to get him back, you have to save him, you have to fix this and get your sans back, you have to save your best friend before it's too late)** _ ~~

 

Undyne starts visiting you more often. She talks about Papyrus, how sweet and enthusiastic he is and how hard it is to tell him again and again that he can't be part of the Royal Guard; about Sans, how lazy he is and how she doesn't understand how the hell he's always at all his stations just at the right time; about Asgore, how he's getting worse, more lonely, more grief-stricken, as time goes on.

You watch anime together and she hugs you sometimes, and she's so _warm_ for a fish monster, and god her  _arms_ and her  _abs,_ and god you don't deserve her in any capacity but you hang on tight to her anyway.

 

You wander out to the Dump one day, say hello to some of the friends you left behind, search for materials with half your mind elsewhere. You're thinking of Gaster and the team, thinking of the family torn right out of your world, the one that didn't mean to abandon you and did it anyway.

You see a flash of gold out of the corner of your eye and you turn around, blinking. When you see petals you stumble back, and when you see a face you shiver.

Flowey. Quite possibly your worst mistake of all.

*You feel your sins crawling on your back.

You wait for him to attack you, arms wrapped around yourself. You know how strong he is, and you know he's angry at you. You know you deserve whatever pain he gives you. You close your eyes: you aren't brave enough to look him in the face when he hurts you.

Nothing happens. Nothing happens. Nothing continues to happen.

You open your eyes.

Flowey is... staring at you, and the expression on his face is one you've never seen before- one you didn't actually think he could make. He looks... pleading. Sad. Mournful. Hopeful. Wistful.

He's  _soulless._ He can't feel any of those things. Why is he looking at you like that?

He pops under the ground, and you let out a little breath- he's gone, okay, you can go now and leave this behind you- only to lose the rest of it as he shoots up right in front of you. You stumble back, but he still doesn't attack you. He's still just  _looking_ at you with that inexplicable gut-punch of an expression on his face.

"You remember... don't you?"

"Wh-what?"

He blinks. He almost looks teary-eyed. "I know you remember. You're like me. You remember. You have to."

"What d-do you think I r-remember?" He's worrying you. He's still not attacking.

"Everything!" He's almost yelling, but not in anger. It doesn't make  _sense,_ except... except...

* _Flowey looks at you with a broken-open expression. "You remember too?"_

_*He sounds like he wants it to be true so much that he can't let himself believe it. You know that sound._

_*"Y-yeah. Yeah, I d-do."_

_*Flowey hugs you, and you hug him back, and you're crying first, but he's not long after._

"...Y-you..."

You sit down hard, holding your head in your hands. That's never happened. You  _know_ it's never happened. But, but you  _remember._ You know it did happen. It feels more real than... than your entire life, almost. 

"I... I..."

What do you know?

Flowey comes a little closer, hesitant, careful. "You... what do you remember?"

You shake your head, feeling like your brain is rattling around in your head. "I, I don't, I don't  _know._ "

Flowey puts a leaf gently on your knee. You don't flinch. "Okay. Okay. Let's start simple?"

You nod helplessly. There's something, something huge and bright in the back of your head, locked up somewhere and it wants to get out, you want it to get out, and Flowey's going to help you. You know it. You aren't afraid anymore.

You're a scientist. You're going to push until you know everything you can know, no matter if it hurts, no matter how hard it is.

"What do you think about Sans?" Flowey asks softly.

Your tongue tangles in your mouth. 

He's creepy, he's quiet, he's a loner, he rubs you the wrong way, he's smart, he smiled when his father died, he's  _always_ smiling, he feels dead and cold whenever you touch him,

he's your best friend, he listens to you, he helped you with undyne whenever you asked, he watches anime with you, he laughs at stupid jokes and human memes with you, he cried and screamed when gaster was erased, he's saved your life over and over, he adores his brother, he's never quite trusted the human child but he's kind to them and he protects them anyway, he's friends with both asgore and toriel and it's because of him that they ever became friends again, he was best man at your wedding and he caught the bouquet you threw and he taught you how to sew and he showed you his blasters and he told you everything about his father that you didn't know and he accepted your help even though he thought you pitied him back then just because it would help papyrus and he always dropped his smile around you because he trusted you enough to show his sadness and he was warm when he laughed and he was warm when you hugged him and he was warm when the sun touched him every time frisk broke the barrier and you watched him over the cameras as he fought chara over and over and you saw his face when he knew he was going to die and you collected his dust and wrapped it in his jacket and waited for the next reset and you cry every time he dies but he kept going even when his brother died so you had to keep going too, for him and undyne and papyrus and everyone else, he kept you determined and he kept you safe and he helped you with the amalgamates and he protected you when flowey ran a murder timeline and he was the one who got flowey to stop hurting people and forgive you and he was the one who made your wedding dress and he was the one who did maintenance on your camera system and he was the one who took the brunt of chara's rage in a world made of dust and tears while you and flowey hid and tried to save him, tried to fix things, tried to do  _something_ while chara laughed and laughed and broke him into pieces and reset and ruined him forever and ever

You are wrapped in vines, soft vines with fuzzy leaves, Flowey's head against your stomach. His version of a hug. You're shaking and sobbing and little pieces of words are dripping out of your mouth in time with the tsunami in your head because god, god, oh god, Sans, Sans,  _Sans_

You remember.

You remember it all.

 

Flowey stays with you through your entire breakdown. Your corner of the dump remains empty except for the two of you, thankfully; you do not want to have to explain any of this to some random observer.

You wipe your eyes, sniffling. "Wh-why didn't you tell me before?"

"Well, I had to wait for you to create me in the first place," Flowey points out. His usual snarky, arrogant tone has returned. It's oddly comforting, familiar in a world that no longer makes sense. "And then, well... then I had to play the script and get Sans to trust me." He pauses, wincing. "...As much as he can trust anyone now."

You sigh. "I g-guess that makes sense."

"Of course it makes sense! I'm not an idiot, unlike some people!"

Your giggle is watery. "F-fair enough, I guess. S-so, how i-is your end coming?"

Flowey frowns. "Not good enough. Sans... he's really bad. I... I can't do much. Their hold on him is stronger than I expected. I'm going to keep trying, but once they arrive..."

Once they arrive, any progress either of you have made on Sans will be destroyed.

"We have y-years before that happens," you point out. "We h-have to try."

Flowey sniffs. "Well of course!"

He gives your leg one final, leafy pat before disappearing back underground, presumably to find Sans.

You let out your last few tears, wipe your face clean, and gather your things. You need to return to the lab.

Now, where did you leave Gaster's old schematics...

 

He'd been working on a time machine, once. He and you and Sans. Back before the world was broken. It carried over here; a piece of the world that cannot be removed. You know the prototype is in Sans' backyard, and you can't risk trying to steal it. You need him to trust you, not attack you.

But you have the schematics and the experimental data, and you have memories and knowledge that Gaster never had. 

*You have confidence in your abilities as an engineer.

You're sure you can do this. You're sure, because you have to be.

 

Everything is different, in more than one way. The world you are now trapped in has not changed at all, but everyone you meet, everything you see, everything you experience, is just a little off. It's amazing what one changed person can do to the entire universe, but it's happened. 

Sans is broken and ruined, and the world followed suit. 

It could almost be comforting, how much better he made your world, if you still lived there. If this reality didn't have its claws sunk too deep into you for you to get away.

 

You see Undyne and you want, instinctively, to run to her, kiss her, reference the anime the two of you marathoned over your honeymoon, to nibble on her fins and tug her ponytail until she stops yelling and calms down. 

You can't, because that future is gone, and she doesn't know the you that emerged from it. Your wife is no longer here, erased more thoroughly than Gaster and his team by a crazed child's wishes.

You see Papyrus and you want to hug him, too; want to ask about culinary college and his friends at the police academy and the success of his restaurant and how Mettaton's been treating him, if he likes the show you recommended, whether Mellie's had the baby and what she named them and what crazy color Rhys' hair is this week and whether the pull-out couch is fixed yet.

You can't, because none of those things have happened and neither of you know those people.

You see Asgore and you want to comfort him, share stories about Gaster before he was erased, talk about Sans and who he's grown up into, gush about Undyne as a scrappy little kid who dared the king to fight her and grew up in the palace, talk about Asriel and Flowey and discuss the possibilities of growing an artificial soul, tell him how Toriel is doing and ask about him, too.

You can't, because you're just his scientist and he's just your king and you aren't friends, not now, not yet. 

Sans mentions his lady behind the door and you want to hug Toriel, tell her how Flowey is doing and ask her how her school's going, ask her whether she's considering expanding or if she has any ideas about how to deal with the local racists on the PTA, ask how Frisk is sleeping and whether there's anyone special and if she could help you with planning your anniversary gift for Undyne.

You can't, because you don't know Toriel and she doesn't know you and she's locked herself in the Ruins and you won't see her for years and years and all your history is in a future that doesn't exist.

Mettaton is the only one you can still talk to, but even with him, there's so much that just isn't there anymore. His relationship with Papyrus, his feelings on Napstablook's friendship with Sans, how his dance and drama classes at Frisk's school are going, how his baking is coming along, if Napstablook has finished his latest album- they're all things that Mettaton doesn't have, doesn't know, doesn't understand.

It's all gone, taken, stolen, destroyed. Chara took it all away from you, from them; tore their lives to pieces and made them forget it. 

But you remember, and you will not forget, and you will not forget.

*You are determined to mete out justice upon the F a l l e n C h i l d .

*You are determined to fix what the F a l l e n C h i l d has broken.

 

You dream of a cracked skull and ivory hands that glow in the blackness surrounding them. You dream of whispering voices that speak words you don't understand and a never-ending scream that needs no translation. You dream of a bright red smile and twinkling eyes. You dream of tears dripping into the dust on a stone floor and blue and yellow magic sparking free into the air. 

You dream of a human with an upside-down soul and glowing eyes who reaches out to you with hands that shine silver and a human-shaped figure draped in shadow whose soul glimmers every color of the rainbow.

 

Flowey startles you by popping up in your lab. Thankfully, Mettaton isn't there.

"How's the project going?" he asks. 

If it was someone else, you might take a page out of Sans' book and ask him where the hellos went. But it's Flowey, and the only reason he ever talks to you is to save your mutual friend.

"N-not as well a-as I'd hoped," you admit, smoothing one hand over a blueprint. "I-I can remake the prototype, and i-it's halfway done a-already, but without the original t-to use as a reference or m-my team to help, I c-can't make it d-do the things it's intended to do." You need someone whose specialty is magic theory or the multiverse theory- hell, someone who managed to study the V O I D - and you don't have that. You're just an engineer, and you can't count on Sans to help you.

Flowey sighs. He disappears.

You feel an ache in your chest and wonder why you'd thought he might stay.

 

There is a countdown in the back of your head. Seven humans have fallen; six souls have been collected; the return of the red soul cannot be far off.

You are terrified. 

 

You invite Sans over for an anime night. Mettaton drops by at one point and does his thing, which, disturbingly, includes flirting with Sans.

The look Sans gives Mettaton makes the robot stutter and go silent. You hadn't actually thought it was possible to shut Mettaton up, but Sans has found a way.

Mettaton leave shortly after that.

"You d-didn't have to be r-rude," you say, taking a sip of soda.

"he was bothering me," Sans replies. His smile is rigid. His eyes are black.

You don't speak again.

 

You dream of red eyes, of dusty floors, and of ivory hands with perfectly spherical holes in the palm. You dream of a voice you haven't heard in years telling you to be strong.

You wake to warm tears on your face and an alert on your computer systems.

A human has been spotted leaving the Ruins.

 

They do not kill anyone, and you reach the surface, and the sunlight is almost unbearably warm on your face, Undyne's hand in yours, Sans at your other side-

And the human pulls Sans aside, and whispers something to him-

And the world shreds.

 

The human resets, and resets, and resets. Their LV remains at one. Their HP remains at 20. They don't smile, and their eyes are narrow and brown, and they wield a fragile branch instead of a knife.

The human resets, and does not come out of the Ruins. The human resets, and doesn't emerge from the Ruins. The human resets, and the door to the Ruins remains closed.

 

Your cameras blink red, and black, and swivel slowly around. You see nothing. You wait.

 

The human resets.

The door creaks slowly, slowly open, and they stumble outside, their sleeve charred, their cheek mottled with a bruise.

They are smiling. 

Dust billows out behind them in the breeze created by the opening door. They ignore the branch on the path. A knife is shoved into their back pocket.

Your camera turns. It catches a flash of blue and ivory behind the dark trees as it moves.

You let out a long, shuddering breath and drop your head into your hands.

 

It's terrible, but now that Chara has shown their hand and re-emerged, you're... relieved. No more doubt. No more worry that Sans is broken forever and the demon who did it will escape consequences. No more waiting.

Your machine will be ready soon. You have Flowey in your corner, strange as it seems. Asgore has grown to trust and like you. Undyne... she loves you, you know that. And Papyrus- as much as he adores Sans, you're sure you can make him see reason if you must. Toriel is already dead in this timeline, but she's always a wild card; you can't be sure, without all those timelines run, that she'll hold her loyalty to Sans over her loyalty to her child.

You just need some more time. Thankfully, that's the one thing you have in abundance.

 

Chara resets, and resets, and resets. Once, you manage to slip into Sans' workshop and take some of the tech for your own machine. You aren't sure if he notices, but he doesn't confront you and your machine is doing better than ever, so you don't regret the theft.

 

Chara resets, and you cry silently as you watch the footage of Papyrus' head falling from his shoulders and their merciless boot spreading cracks across his still-speaking skull.

You cry harder when Sans emerges and does not fight them, doesn't even try to. His smile is fixed upon his face.

You want to punch it off him.

You want to kill Chara. The impulse is unfamiliar, sharp and burning under your skin. You want to k i l l t h e m .

You take a deep breath. You won't. You'll lose. You won't try to fight, because it's useless. You'll evacuate, and you'll work, and you'll hide. That's what you're good at. That's what you have to do.

 

You watch Undyne die, and you don't cry. You are so cold that you are numb. 

You don't notice until later the red crescents in your palms, from too-tight clenched fists.

 

You hide when Chara comes to Hotland. You hide, and you don't cry. You solve equations and work on the problem of making your machine actually work. 

You are in the middle of the time paradox issue when Chara enters your room. You are still in the middle of it when they leave.

You find out they were there later, checking over the security footage.

 

You don't have cameras in the Judgement Hall. 

 

You find out because Flowey is gone, and you do have a- tiny- camera nestled at the edge of Asgore's gardens. It's a precaution so no one unauthorized can steal the human souls and leave; now it serves as proof of Sans' final betrayal.

You cannot blame him, but it hurts all the same. It hurts like the one time Chara had found you, before, a knife to your stomach, your chest, your arms and face and eyes, sharp and bitter cold and biting and unavoidable. You couldn't fight then; you cannot fight now.

You do not cry. You close your eyes, and you shudder, and you mutter a long string of curses in Gaster's dead language.

Then you get back to work.

 

You know something is going on up top, but you have no way of knowing exactly what. The only indication you ever have of change is the sight from outside; the change from warm sunlight to grim clouds to purple haze and dead, blistered earth. You are protected in the Underground, you and whoever else survived- Gerson, you know, and Grillby, from a trip back to Snowdin. The former is terribly tired, the latter furiously lonely. You start calling Grillby once a week, and you do not talk about Sans. The one you know is the one Grillby doesn't know he lost.

Napstablook is still around somewhere, you know, but if you try to approach he speeds away, crying harder than ever, so you stop trying to approach.

 

You are outside your lab, watching the lava burble and spurt, and you are trying your best not to cry.

You're alone, even with Grillby back in Snowdin and your weekly calls. He is just as alone. You're alive together, and you reach out to each other, but you live in a timeline that was destroyed, you have a best friend who was killed and resurrected wrong, and Grillby knows nothing but this timeline, this child with dust in their hair and blades in their hands and that terrible, scarlet smile. You can do your best for him, but it will never be enough.

No one else remembers. Flowey is gone, maybe (probably) dead. Sans is no longer an option, not with what Chara's made him. Frisk... Frisk is buried too deep for you to try recovering.

You are cold, despite the spitting lava. You huddle into your jacket and close your eyes. 

The air shifts strangely around you. You open your eyes, and your blood turns to ice.

Sans is there.

His eyes are empty black sockets. He's wearing a white jacket splattered in rusty stains. That damn smile is still frozen on his face.

*You check his stats.

You shudder and flinch back. LV: 20. 

God. You'd never thought you'd ever see that. You never wanted to see that. 

You want this to be over. You want to go  _home,_ to your wife and your house and your family, and you  _can't,_ and it's because of the goddamn demon child pulling your best friend around on strings.

Sans is staring at you, and he's not doing anything.

Sans is staring at you, and he is still, and a light is flickering in his left eyesocket.

Sans is staring at you, and god, you want to hug him.

* S a n s i s  S  P  A  R  I  N  G  y o u .

 

 

 

 

 

Sans s p a r e d you.

 

 

 

 

There's still HOPE.

 

 

 

 

You can't give up.

 

 

 

 

Y o u a r e g o i n g t o  S  A  V  E  h i m .

 

 

 

 

You feel it when Sans and Chara leave this timeline. The world seems to shift and tear, rippling as vital pieces of it are torn away. You grip tight to your lab table, riding out the metaphysical tremors.

They're gone. They're gone.  _They're gone._

...

You need to keep working.

 

 

 

 

You cry in relief, tears streaking through the grease and grime on your face. It's done. It's really done. You can fix things, go back to the point it all shattered and put the world back together before Chara can stop you. You can save Sans. You can save Flowey. You can save Undyne. You can save everyone.

You take a deep breath. 

*You are d e t e r m i n e d to see this through.

And really, even if it fails... there's nothing here to stay for, is there?

You leave a text on Grillby's phone, unable to simply disappear without a trace, even though this reality will be erased if you succeed.  _I'll see you on the other side. Goodbye._

You turn the machine on.

 

 

 

 

There is l i g h t , and there is d a r k , and there is p a i n , and you're screaming but there is no sound in this vacuum, your lungs are crushed and overinflated, you're turning to dust and blazing up and freezing and healing and you are blind but you can see it  _all_

 

 

 

 

You open your eyes.

You are on the floor of your lab. The machine is silent and dark.

There's a writhing mass of black vaguely shaped like a person in the middle of the room.

You sit up slowly, warily. There's a slow, pounding ache in your temples. Your skin feels stretched, your bones fragile. Your soul feels as though it might beat out of your chest.

"H-hello?" May as well call out to the black alien mass. What else do you have to do, really?

It whirls around, and then there's a face, precariously balanced and wobbling atop the black. It's a white teardrop shape, upside down, a curved line serving as a mouth, two violet and green-glowing eyes at the rounded top of the teardrop. There are two neat slashes in the face, one running from the green left eye into the mouth and the other shooting up from the right eye through the top of the skull.

The skull?

Oh. Oh god.

There's another shift in the black, and a pair of skeletal hands appear, ivory shade nearly glowing in the contrast against the lightless black. They move quickly, forming shapes and symbols you don't quite recognize. The pounding in your temples grows sharper.

"O-oh my... D-Docter Gaster?"

The smile tilts, wilting. The eyes flash brighter. The hands fall limp. The whole mass seems to droop.

You push closer across the tile floor, not trusting your legs enough to attempt standing yet. You reach out a trembling hand, and Gaster jerks away.

_~~**y o u m u s t n ' t . i d o n o t k n o w w h a t m y c u r r e n t f o r m w i l l d o t o y o u , s h o u l d y o u a t t e m p t t o t o u c h i t .** ~~ _

~~~~~~~~You swallow, inching back. "Oh. S-sorry. How... where are we? What h-happened? What... wh-what are you?"

Gaster shifts, perhaps in discomfort. The hands flutter, half-shaping words before shuddering into stillness once more. The lights in his eyes flicker. 

~~_**y o u h a v e e n t e r e d m y p r e s e n t p l a c e o f r e s i d e n c e : t h e V  0  1  D . i a m n o t s u r e h o w y o u g o t h e r e ; o n e m o m e n t i w a s a s a l o n e a s a l w a y s , t h e n e x t , y o u a n d y o u r l a b a n d y o u r f r i e n d w e r e h e r e .** _ ~~

~~~~You blink at him. "F-friend? What friend?"

~~_**y o u d i d n o t k n o w h e w a s t h e r e ? t h e f l o w e r . h e h a s n o s o u l , b u t i f e e l t h e p r e s e n c e o f h i s m i n d .** _ ~~

You whirl around, nearly falling. 

There's a small pewter pot sitting on a lab table, and there's a wilted golden flower in it. 

You force yourself upright, force your legs to cooperate, force your body into forward motion. "Flowey!"

The flower stirs. Your heart is racing. He's not dead? He's here? How is he here? How did he get here? Why didn't you notice him? How long has he been here? Why didn't he speak to you?

"Flowey?" You are careful, gentle, easing his face up with your palm against his stem. He groans. You check his stats and gasp in horror. 

_HP: 0.5._

"Wh-what happened?" you whisper. Flowey coughs and shakes his head.

"Got th-thrown off a mountain," he mutters, voice gravelly. He coughs again. "Thought I was dead, t-to be honest. What happened? D-did you find me? Where's Sans and Chara?"

You shake your head, taking his pot into your arms. "I, I don't know. I was trying to fix things, I made the machine-" he looks over your shoulder at the dead hunk of machinery- "and then... I was here, and so were you."

 ~~ _ **a n d s o a m i ,**_~~ ~~~~ ~~~~Gaster says dryly.

Flowey yelps, staring at the mass of black V01D goop. "Wh-what the fuck are you?"

_**~~i a m t h e f o r m e r r o y a l s c i e n t i s t , w . d . g a s t e r . i w a s   e  r  a  s  e  d  . y o u a r e f l o w e y , t h e f o r m e r p r i n c e a s r i e l .~~ ** _

~~~~Flowey flinches.

"Okay," you say, trying to mediate. "We all know who we are. Gaster, honestly, do you know how we can get... not back, I don't want to go back, but where I was trying to go?"

The cracked skull turns slowly. He's shaking his head.

~~_**i w i s h i d i d , a l p h y s , b u t i a m n o t o m n i s c i e n t . t h e V  0  1  D h a s n o t g i v e n m e t h a t m a g i c .** _ ~~

"Oh, fucking fantastic," Flowey mutters, wriggling in his pot. "So we're stuck here, is that what you're saying? We failed, and now we're in some fucking unreality with a weird goop-man and a useless H. G. Wells ripoff?"

**~~*my g0d, y0u'r3 f0u!-m0uth3d. 4 f!0w3r 4ft3r my 0wn h34rt, 1 must s4y.~~ **

You flinch back, grip on Flowey's pot tightening. Gaster's form flows forward around you like a goopy shield.

A human stands at the other end of your lab, hands tucked into their pockets, one side of their mouth quirked up. Their eyes are blank globes of silver light. They take one step forward, carefully measure so their left foot lands on the space between one tile and the next. A small tremor races out from their footfall.

Flowey twists around, bullets swirling around his stem, not quite activating the battle screen. "Who the fuck are _you_?"

The human flicks their fingers. Flowey's bullets burst into flurries of useless white powder.

~~***th3 p3rs0n wh0 s4v3d 4!! y0ur l1v3s. 1'd t3!! y0u t0 b3 r3sp3ctfu!, but th3r3's 0n!y s0 much ch4r4ct3r b3nd1ng 1 c4n g3t 4w4y w1th.** ~~

~~~~"Wh-why'd you save us?" you demand, hands gripping tighter around Flowey's pot. "Why do y-you _care_?!"

The human's face falls, the light in their eyes dimming. They look away. One hand comes up to fiddle with the small, purplish, anime-reminiscent ponytail at the back of their head, while the other clenches into a tight fist. They bite their lip.

~~*** 1 t ' s m y f 4 u ! t .** ~~

It is said quietly, shamefully. They close their eyes. A bead of silver runs down their cheek before they scrub it away. It still glistens, smeared across the back of their hand.

"What's y-your fault?" you ask, terribly afraid.

Gaster swirls agitatedly.  ~~ _ **t h e y w e r e b e h i n d c h a r a ' s a c t i o n s . e v e r y o n e ' s a c t i o n s .**_~~

" _What?"_

Flowey summons more bullets, casting them in a volley at the human. They burst on impact. The human's image flickers like a fault hologram before stabilizing.

**~~*y0u d1dn't th1nk 1 w4s r34!!y h3r3, d1d y0u? 3v3n 1'm n0t th4t p0w3rfu!.~~ **

~~~~"Why?!" you scream, images of bloody, dusty Sans dancing behind your eyes. Your vision is blurred with tears. "Why would you do this? Why would you get Chara to do this? _WHY?!"_

*You are enraged and confused.

*You do not understand how anyone could want to hurt Sans.

The human shakes their head. 

~~***y0u c0u!dn't und3rst4nd. 1'm s0rry. just... just kn0w th1s: 1 n3v3r, _3 v 3 r ,_ w4nt3d t0 hurt h1m.** ~~

**~~t h e n w h y ? !~~** Gaster demands. He roils angrily, every inch the furious father. The human sighs softly.

~~*** b 3 c 4 u s 3 1 h 4 d t 0 .** ~~

They look you in the eye. You want to blink, the glowing silver spheres uncomfortably bright, but you hold eye contact.

~~***!00k. 1 d0n't 3xp3ct y0u t0 und3rst4nd, 0r f0rg1v3 m3. th4t w4s n3v3r 0n th3 t4b!3.** ~~

~~***but 1 s4v3d y0u 4!! f0r 4 r34s0n.** ~~

~~***4lphys. y0u c4n s4v3 h1m. y0u w1!!. but y0u n33d3d t0 b3 h3r3, 4nd w3 n33d3d t0 sp34k f1rst.** ~~

~~~~"Why?" you ask, helplessly. You feel like a depressed echo flower.

~~***y0u c4n't just h4ck 1nt0 0th3r un1v3rs3s, n0t 4s 4 st4b!3 d3n1z3n 0f 0n3. but n0w, 1v'3 r3m0v3d y0u. y0u c4n d0 s0 much m0r3 fr0m w1th1n th3 V01D.** ~~

~~***y0u'!! s 4 v 3 h1m. 1 pr0m1s3 y0u.** ~~

~~***y0u just n33d3d 4 ch4ng3 0f sc3n3ry.** ~~

~~~~And with that, the infuriating human disappears.

Flowey growls. Gaster makes a series of probably-obscene hand gestures. 

You take a few long, deep breaths, flexing your fingers around Flowey's pot.

Then you put him down on the floor and walk to your machine.

"Hey, D-Doc?" you call. "Pass me m-my toolbox, would you?"

 

You have work to do.

**Author's Note:**

> *The author giggles evilly.  
> *The author knows that the thing with Flowey seems like a Deus ex Machina- but remember, in DefectTale's home universe, Flowey d i d n ' t d u s t . Go check. It's true.  
> *The author hopes you enjoyed, and that you liked the rest of the series.  
> *The author won't be able to focus on DefectTale for a while: they have a SPN Big Bang fic due worryingly soon...  
> *The author hopes you understand.  
> *The author asks you to leave kudos and comment if you liked this, or if you want to see more!


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